Breaking Free from Self-Sabotage with Emotion Release Technique

Originally published: 20 December 2023. Last updated: 7 June 2025.

Do you ever feel like you’re standing in your own way — like no matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to follow through on your goals? Maybe you procrastinate on things that matter. Maybe you talk yourself out of opportunities. Maybe you get close to something good… and then pull back.

That’s the sneaky nature of self-sabotage.

It’s not a personality flaw. It’s a protection mechanism.
And more often than not, it’s rooted in emotions you didn’t even realise you were carrying.

What is self-sabotage, really?

Self-sabotage can be defined as any behaviour — conscious or subconscious — that holds you back from what you want. It might look like:

• Procrastinating or avoiding tasks you know will help

• Negative self-talk or spirals of self-criticism

• Making choices that don’t align with your goals or values

• Holding yourself to impossible standards and then shutting down

• Overcommitting, overthinking, or numbing with distractions

And while it can feel like laziness, weakness, or a lack of willpower, self-sabotage usually comes from deeper places:

• Fear of failure or fear of success

• Fear of being seen or rejected

• Emotional overwhelm or unprocessed trauma

• Limiting beliefs passed down through family or culture

That’s why simply “pushing through” doesn’t work. You’re not lazy. You’re stuck in a protective pattern.

How Emotion Release Technique (ERT) helps break the cycle

Emotion Release Technique (ERT) is one of the most effective tools I use with clients to dissolve the emotional roots of self-sabotage.

Here’s how it works:

1. 🌿 It uncovers your subconscious patterns

ERT gently helps you uncover the emotional experiences and belief systems that are playing out in the background of your life. You might be surprised by what’s hiding under the surface — and how much it’s been driving your decisions without you even realising.

2. 🌊 It releases stuck emotions

Self-sabotaging behaviours often form in response to emotions we weren’t able to process at the time — fear, grief, shame, or even guilt. ERT allows these to be released from the nervous system so you’re no longer operating from a state of protection.

3. 💔 It heals old emotional wounds

Whether it’s an early experience of being criticised, an adult betrayal, or a chronic feeling of not being good enough, unresolved wounds can form the foundation for self-sabotage. ERT helps clear the emotional charge from these moments — allowing these wounds to heal.

4. 💭 It reprograms limiting beliefs

Once the emotional intensity is gone, we use positive, tested sentences to rewire the subconscious. This helps reframe the belief systems behind the sabotage:
From “I’ll mess it up anyway” → to → “It’s safe for me to try.”
From “Success will disconnect me from others” → to → “I can be successful and connected.”

5. 🤍 It builds self-compassion and inner safety

Most of us have been taught to criticise ourselves into action. ERT flips that script. It helps you return to a place of self-trust and self-support. This creates a much more fertile ground for action, follow-through, and real success. You need to love yourself to be able to care for yourself.

You don’t have to stay stuck in cycles of sabotage

Self-sabotage isn’t who you are — it’s something your body learned to do to stay emotionally safe.

But you’re allowed to outgrow those patterns now.
You’re allowed to release the old beliefs and wounds that no longer serve you.
And you’re allowed to succeed, grow, and shine — without fear.

Through ERT, I’ve helped dozens of women clear the emotional blocks keeping them stuck in self-sabotage. If this resonates with you, I’d love to support you too.

✨ Book a 1:1 ERT session or explore my monthly group support membership — and take that first brave step toward emotional freedom.