Cultivating Self-Love: A Quiet, Powerful Revolution

Originally published: 7 February 2024. Last updated: 7 June 2025.

Self-love is a word that gets thrown around a lot. But in real life, it’s not all bubble baths and affirmations. It's a deep, sometimes uncomfortable process of unlearning the belief that your needs don’t matter. That you have to earn rest. That you’re too much — or not enough.

When you don’t believe you’re worthy of love — not just from others, but from yourself — that belief starts to seep into everything. It shows up in the way you push yourself to please others. The way you hold back from setting boundaries. The way you make choices that don’t nourish you, even though you know better.

This isn’t because you’re lazy or broken. It’s because at some point, you learned that love had to be earned. That your worth was tied to your output, your appearance, or your ability to keep the peace.

But that’s not the truth.
And deep down, you know that.

What Happens When You Start Loving Yourself?

When you begin to meet yourself with gentleness — not just in the good moments, but in the messy ones too — everything begins to shift. Not instantly. Not perfectly. But steadily.

Self-love gives you the inner permission to:

• Speak up for what you need, without guilt

• Say no to what drains you

• Rest without justifying it

• Choose food, movement, and rhythms that feel supportive — not punishing

• Forgive yourself when you fall back into old patterns

• Be softer with the parts of you you used to reject

• Let go of people-pleasing and overgiving

• Feel joy and playfulness again — not just duty or responsibility

You start to relate to yourself like someone you actually care about.

And honestly, that’s where real healing begins.

The Childhood Roots Of Self-Love

Most of the women I work with didn’t grow up seeing self-love modelled in healthy ways. Maybe your mum overgave to everyone and never rested. Maybe love was conditional — you were praised when you performed, criticised when you didn’t.

So it makes sense that you didn’t learn how to truly honour yourself.
It’s not your fault. But it is your opportunity.

As an adult, you get the chance to re-parent yourself. To become the person you needed — and to offer yourself the kindness and safety you might have missed. That’s what I support women to do every day, especially inside Nourishment Gateway or through one-on-one ERT sessions.

Four Ways To Begin Cultivating Self-Love

You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight. But you can begin with small acts that say, “I matter. I’m listening.”

Here’s where you can start:

1. Say No When You Mean No
It’s OK to disappoint others if it means being true to yourself. Boundaries aren’t selfish — they’re essential.

2. Stop Waiting For Permission
You don’t need anyone else to approve your decisions or validate your needs. Back yourself. Be your own advocate.

3. Let Your Body Lead
Check in with your body before you say yes to something. Are you contracted or open? Exhausted or energised? Your body always knows — listen to her.

4. Love The Hidden Parts, Too
You don’t have to fix every part of you to be worthy of love. The anxious part. The angry part. The part that still people-pleases. They all deserve care.

This work is messy and non-linear. You’ll have days where it feels hard. That’s OK. It’s not about perfection — it’s about building a new relationship with yourself, slowly and sustainably.

And as the amazing Anna Rose says - do everything like you love yourself!

Healing Begins With Self-Love

Louise Hay once said, “There is only one thing that heals every problem, and that is: to know how to love yourself.”

And I believe that’s true — but it’s not about just knowing it.
It’s about practising it.
Every day. Even when it’s hard. Especially then.

If this resonates, and you’re ready to explore this work more deeply, I’d love to walk alongside you — through the tools I share in Nourishment Gateway, or in a one-on-one session where we gently release the stuck beliefs that say you’re not enough.

Because you are.
Exactly as you are.

And learning to believe that might just change everything.